It’s Monday. It’s also one of those days.
One of those days where the weight of the world is felt in my mind the moment my 6am alarm woke up me up for work.
Imaginary walls were propped up for each task I needed to complete. Is this the wall Trump was talking about? These can be broken easily right?
I felt useless as the sun passed over the house. I drank half of my coffee this morning. What waste, I brewed m favorite beans from Chocolate fish. I’m almost out of them too. Double waste.
My WFH playlist provided me with no inspiration. Why can’t i do anything right? Stop with the pings, I can only type as fast as I can text, which isnt very fast to begin with, so hang on!
Tesla and Apple stock split. I bought some and it went up. I’m contributing to a broken capitalistic system to make a quick buck so.I can go to Vegas and bet it on all on black.
I chopped and prepped ingredients for a baked pasta last night. I cried when I chopped the red onion. Fuck onions. I didn’t make the pasta today. I ate vegetarian chicken nuggets that I bought. Best nuggests I’ve had so far, I’ll probably buy them again.
Why am I mentally blocked? I had a good weekend. I exercised. Maybe i drank too much on Saturday? But I didn’t have a hangover on Sunday.. so where is this coming from? Why can’t I get through it?
Delete instagram. I read from Mark Manson about he Do Something principle. Does that apply in this context?
Is the rice I made from last week still good? I can make an omelette tomorrow with the spinach that I bought from the Japanese market. Better check how long the eggs are good for.
What do i need to pack for this weekend to Joshua tree? Create a playlist, make a snack list.
Not another fucking playlist. Did my rent get paid on time?
Today marks the last day of book club. We finished reading the New Jim Crow. Systemic oppression is still prevalent in our society today. The public opinion must be shifted in order for real change to be made. We can’t leave it up to the politicians to create policies for change. We all have a duty to wake up and recognize the injustices our fellow Americans have endured. Don’t ask your black coworker to tell you what to do, educate yourself and become a better ally.
I signed up for another teletherapy program. I should stop spending money on materialistic items and allocate those funds each month towards therapy. I should stop asking so many rhetorical questions to no one.
Today was one of those days where I had to drag myself out of bed and force myself to turn on a computer and answer emails. I didn’t want to do anything today. I cried under my blankets because my existence was insignificant and I wanted to hug my friends. We are month 6 into quarantine and there is no end in sight.
Better days will come.